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Posted by mrniggles on Feb 19, 2010
Feature: Mr Niggles annoying things about the gaming industry!

Feature: Mr Niggles annoying things about the gaming industry!

Hello I am Mr Niggles and quite frankly I am a bit angry and from now on you will see regular columns from me on here about stuff that has pissed me off, starting today with the industry as a whole.

Okay it is an industry we all love and spend a large part of our lives ploughing money and effort into, but there are things that still irk when it comes to the gaming gods. One thing we can all be sure of is the apparent lack of the thing we like to call common sense. Still, when you look at the medium it is not hard to see why, we all know that with extreme intelligence comes a complete lack of any kind of social understanding! Okay a little tongue-in-cheek that remark but the point remains valid all the same. Here is a few things that really get our goat here at G4A and I am sure there are loads of you out there that have similar views and maybe some we haven’t mentioned here too!

Release Scheduling

To say that release schedules are our major gripe with the games industry is an understatement of mammoth proportions. Whether it be the lack of a firm release date where games slip and slip again, (GT5 I am looking at you!) or just the blatant disregard to the paying public.

Let’s talk Christmas! For years we at G4A have been deriding the Christmas release schedule, it just seemed to make no sense for all of the AAA titles to be released just prior to the festive season. Yes of course we understand the reasoning but it is a process devoid of rational thought.

It is little known that Charles Darwin’s theory of natural selection was in fact a direct reference to the festive gaming release schedule. It stands to reason that  if you are aware that there are three AAA titles being released at once then surely only the strongest or most high-profile titles will sell in great numbers. It is a process that has seen many excellent games criminally overlooked in years gone by.

Thankfully this year we were blessed by the gaming gods. Whether the delays that caused AAA titles Mass Effect 2 and Bioshock 2 to be delayed until the first quarter of 2010 were due to some rare moment of clarity by the schedulers or that the games needed more time to be completed we will never know but the fact is that both of these titles were down for a Christmas release and potentially to be pitted against each other and others like Uncharted 2.

Would we have seen the same sales figure success for either Uncharted 2 or Mass Effect 2 had these games been pitted against each other? In a day when a lot of gamers own both machines sales could have been adversely impacted. Only Christmas 2010 will confirm whether this outbreak of common sense has been contagious or like SARS it was a brief but scary outing!

Controllers!

Right, here goes. The fact is that no console manufacturer has yet made a truly great controller. There have been good ones don’t get me wrong but each have their flaws.

Sony’s PS3 pad is light and rechargeable and now features the rumble feature that was missing from the early version. It also has the tilt sensors which are a pointless waste of time. Because of these advances we now are asked to stump up £35 for a handset, it is a total rip off. Gone are the days when you could own two multitaps and eight pads for some mad 8-player Micro Machines mayhem. Now to get the same experience it would cost around £245 not including the game or the pad that comes with the machine and that is even without the need for multitaps.

The Xbox 360 pad feels nice in your hands and for the most part performs well. The need for 2 x AA batteries can be negated by purchasing a separate rechargeable battery pack and lead. This seems okay except the life expectancy of the battery pack is shorter than that of Katie Price marriage. Added to the fact that Microsoft totally ripped the design off of Sega anyway. The pad is good for FPS and… well… that is about it really.

Nintendo’s idea to move away from the joypad and into motion sensing was a bold and brilliant move. The Wii-mote is intuitive and allows non-gamers to instantly feel at home with the controller in their hands. For the most part it works wondrously but can sometimes prove fiddly or unresponsive and it has to be linked to the Nun-chuck to work for more traditional style game types. Again cost is an issue with a Wii-mote, Nun-chuck and new Wii motion plus, together costing around £45.

None of these controllers are any good for fighting games which miss the accuracy of a micro-switch. So much so in fact that traditional arcade-style joysticks are sold by third-party manufacturers, which are the only third-party controller to go anywhere near.

Whilst we are on the subject, third-party controllers are shit, anything that looks remotely like its original counterpart you can be sure will be like dressing a Ford Cortina to look like a Lamborgini (No joke, I actually knew someone who did that!) Although you can always use the “I have to use the official pad because it is connected to port 1 and I have to set up the game.” ruse. That always give you a distinct advantage as third-party  pads are about as accurate as an American missile.

AOL (Americans Online)

"I totally owned You"

Okay, I don’t mean all American’s, in fact I have met some really nice ones but we all know the story. You have played Halo online for some time and feel pretty good about the whole experience when you are suddenly matched into a game full of prepubescent American kids shouting down the headset at how “Awesome” they are and how “they totally owned you” or how much “you suck dude”. Tiresome does not even come close to describing it, their squeaky, nasally voices cut through the airwaves and tear at my sensibilities. I just want to pull their fucking putrid little tongues out of their spotty and greasy little heads! It got so bad that I actually stopped playing match-made games as I would find myself roaming the streets, foaming at the mouth looking for anyone who resembled an American!

The Gaming Press

Samoa Joe does to Mrpointyhead what we all wish to do! Squeeze Joe!

Here is a subject I know a thing or two about, the gaming press in general are a little anal. For years it was nigh on impossible to break into the mainstream games press and the advent of blogging and websites has really made the mainstream have to up their game.  Even now to some extent we see the ‘Official’ mags still over egging scores on first party titles whilst ‘Exclusive’ titles (especially cover titles) get preferential scores.

To be fair most games journalists are just like you and me, they love games and are arrogant and opinionated enough to want to tell everyone else about what they think. The advantages they have over me is they get paid for doing it and of course they get their games free, plus the odd trip around the world thrown in!

What has really pissed me off lately is the advent of  Video games review shows. Case in point, MrPointyhead (Dan Maher) Editor of Xbox Live, I mean is there a more irritating, arse kissing, tosser anywhere? The way he slimes over games developers is so nauseating I can’t watch it on anything other than on an empty stomach for fear of it rapidly becoming so. Not to mention his sudden transformation from bespectacled geek to Emo cock cheese. These are people who used to sit in darkened rooms playing games then writing about them suddenly becoming TV stars!! Our money pays these twats wages? Jesus if I wanted to hear some idiots ramblings about video games I would read Game4anything at least I wouldn’t have to look at the ugly tossers.

Arrogant Games Companies

I know it is hard to believe but some games companies act a little like they are doing us the worlds biggest favour in

taking our hard-earned cash away from us. To be honest there are a clear two sides to this coin. There are some companies like Capcom for example who constantly listen to fan feedback when creating a sequel and try to implement the suggestions. Bit there are others and, I am sure they know who they are, who treat us like imbeciles to be force feed their bullshit.

Ken Says "Work Harder you Dogs"

Two quotes highlight this perfectly I think:

Remember when Sony’s Ken Kutaragi said, “You need to work a little harder and make a little more money if you want to own a PS3.” “Our ideal,” Kutaragi said, “is for consumers to think to themselves, ‘OK, I’ll work more hours and buy it.’ We want people to feel that they want it, no matter what.”? Well that worked well and most people bought a 360 or Wii.

And this one only recently really got my goat Stanley Woo from Bioware when asked about self censorship in Mass Effect 2 came out with these gems!

“It’s kinda funny that this topic keeps coming up over and over again. People who claim to be old enough and mature enough to handle sex and nudity in a game seem to believe that any lack of sex and nudity in the game is a sign of self-censorship. They generally don’t believe that a game can be called “mature” without explicit sex and/or nudity.

“Let me tell you, folks, that as a developer full of mature individuals, we are also free to not have explicit sex and/or nudity in our games, no matter what you, Fox News, the government, or Bunky the Wonder Clown has to say about it.

Respect My Authorta!

We have never considered it a “problem,” it is simply a choice we have made and we have every right to make that choice.” He went on to put his thumb to his nose and say “So ner”

He then came out with this absolute classic:

“Game development is not a collaborative effort between developers and gamers; it is a dictatorship, where we alone determine what content goes into our game.” That has got to be the most wanky, self-serving, load of old bollocks I have ever had the misfortune to read. I mean never has the Dic in dictatorship been so apt! We pay your fucking wages dickhead, without us you wouldn’t be making fucking games with or without sex scenes.
If you want to check out Stanley’s ‘extensive’ gaming experience you can here at Mobygames.com it makes for funny reading!

Summery:

Well this could go on for years and years and to be honest I think I will make it a serial, it seems only fair. Although I would truly like your input, what makes you blow a fuse about the gaming industry. I think it can be quite cathartic getting all this out. So let’s start a group session and see what evils we can dispel.

*Mr Niggles opinions are solely his own and do not represent the opinions of Game4anything, well most of them anyway!

Hi!, My lamp did arrive today!! YAY!, I love it!
btw, thx for the support and everything.
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3 Responses to “Feature: Mr Niggles annoying things about the gaming industry!”

  1. Eddie Richards says:

    I’m a Niggles-lover.

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